Sorry Mom

So i went to sorry-mom.com after it was posted in a thread on Punk For It and found it hilarious. Just spent 20 minutes reading it. When it dawned on me this is only funny because the guys are douche bags and the girls are moaning about how bad in bed they are.

How sexist…

if it was a blog written by guys mentioning the lame, creepy sexual encounters they had and also posting pictures then it would be disgraceful and stuff

so let’s try it

Mandy the Hand Shandy

At one particular house party we had, this girl Mandy made no secret that she was into me. But I was into someone else at the party and was steering clear of her. After the party ended it seemed like everyone was staying over so they took up the armchairs, the sofa and most of the floors. I went to my room to find Mandy passed out under the covers. I tried to wake her and ask her to leave (she lived around the corner) she didn’t budge. I went back down stairs and everyone was asleep so hung out in the kitchen listening to the radio and drinking more beer. Finally i was too tired to stay up so I tried waking her again, nothing. I decided if I left my clothes on and slept outside the covers then it’s all innocent enough.
I woke with her hand down my pants jerking me off, “what the fuck?” i said still sleepy and she pretended nothing had happened and that she was asleep. Fuck this so i went down stairs and tried sleeping on the kitchen floor. Uncomfortable and that was my bed so why should i sleep on the floor. So i tried waking her again and she seemed out for the count so i tied my belt tighter and went asleep, waking to her fiddling with my belt. I kicked her off the bed and she landed in an awkward position on the floor, where i left her. Next morning I woke and still groggy went into the sitting room where my friends declared “Mandy told us about last night”

“She didn’t even finish!” i spluttered before realising they were calling my bluff