8 Chat Up Lines That AMAZINGLY Worked For Me

My mate Dave just posted a blog about the 8 Chat Ups that never worked for him so I have decided to post ones that for some unknown reason actually DID work for me…

Here we go in no particular order…

8. Yes I do know HTML and I would be happy to do you’re college project for you.

7. We probably shouldn’t be chatting out here, you have a boyfriend.

6. What does my lip ring feel like when I kiss someone… I don’t know yet, want to see? (used on numerous occasions, mental note get lip pierced again)

5. Mind if I stick my tongue in your mouth and swirl it around?

4. We shouldn’t be dancing this close, your boyfriends sitting over there… let’s go to the toilets.

3. Sho are we gonna sssnog or wha? (while being completely pissed and uncharming)

2. You really shouldn’t have your head on my lap, your boyfriends upstairs (recurring theme, yes i’m a pig)

1. ARRRRRRGGGHGGGHHHHHHH! (screamed loudly in her face) Hi I’m Lam.

David Beckham’s beard…

a scruffy beard, yesterday

So yesterday was my last day in work after I gave my 2 weeks notice. People keep asking me where i’m going to and what am i going to do. The answer is nowhere and nothing. I have no job lined up and no desire to jump straight into working again. Why are other people so shocked that I could be so “wreckless” and “silly”? You have your own lives people, go live them. So today I posted a tweet asking for suggestions to do something productive and one of those replies was to update my blog. So here we are and here is a picture of David Beckham’s beard.

Isn’t that the WORST looking piece of scruff you have ever seen…. I mean for fuck sake, if you can’t grow a fucking beard then don’t grow a fucking beard. I for one can grow a fantastic beard, it’s quite impressive really but because I was working in a bar I was asked to shave every day. I HATE shaving and rarely did. Now I am unemployed I am going to grow a manly man beard and show you how it’s done. Yup my friends when I get asked “You quit your job, what are you going to do?” I shall reply in a booming manly voice… “I’M GOING TO GROW A BEARD”.

Who says unemployment ain’t fun. The suggestion to update my blog came from the awesome Dave Minogue (of Danni and Kylie fame) and he has an impressive manly man beard and a hilarious blog you can check out here.

Here’s to a new adventure…

#musicmonday as they say in Twitterland

Follow me on Twitter: @planetlam

Gonna post a couple of music videos i recorded of irish bands. First off an excellent Operation Ivy cover by Dublin band Chewing On Tinfoil from their album launch.

Second up is Hooray For Humans from Cork. I recorded 3 songs by this amazing band in May.

Last LIVE show of current season. Dead From The Waist Down #210

PlanetLam.com

I can’t sleep and i’m supposed to be back in work in 8 hours after a week off, so what better thing to do than a new blog post?

I’m gonna take this time to mention my live internet show we have been doing every Monday for a year now. We have 2 months off between “seasons” so this Monday is Season 2’s Final Show #210. I want everyone to tune in @ 9pm (GMT) on Monday 6th by logging on to http://www.planetlam.com

We can promise lots of laughs interactive chats with the viewers live music from friends and some crazy shenanigans. We will be back in no time at all with some better equipment and we are gonna start shooting funny skits for the show. All to come in Season 3.

=Lam=

Loserdom 19 – new issue of long running Dublin zine.

www.loserdomzine.com

Another Loserdom is in my hands and i realize i still haven’t made any effort to finish a second zine. It continually inspires and depresses me to see such a great zine been put together so often.

The topics they choose to write about are so varied but always interesting. For example a piece about urban foxes is pretty interesting, i didn’t even know i wanted to know stuff about foxes. A great anti-racism piece. An interview with Galway band Only Fumes And Corpses blew me away. The comics are well drawn as always.

With loads more, get it off Anto at various gigs and at http://www.loserdomzine.com/

now back to my zine it’ll be out soon, honest

Episode #201 Dead From The Waist down

New episode of my show on Planet Lam

Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter @planetlam

http://www.planetlam.com/201.htm

Sorry Mom

So i went to sorry-mom.com after it was posted in a thread on Punk For It and found it hilarious. Just spent 20 minutes reading it. When it dawned on me this is only funny because the guys are douche bags and the girls are moaning about how bad in bed they are.

How sexist…

if it was a blog written by guys mentioning the lame, creepy sexual encounters they had and also posting pictures then it would be disgraceful and stuff

so let’s try it

Mandy the Hand Shandy

At one particular house party we had, this girl Mandy made no secret that she was into me. But I was into someone else at the party and was steering clear of her. After the party ended it seemed like everyone was staying over so they took up the armchairs, the sofa and most of the floors. I went to my room to find Mandy passed out under the covers. I tried to wake her and ask her to leave (she lived around the corner) she didn’t budge. I went back down stairs and everyone was asleep so hung out in the kitchen listening to the radio and drinking more beer. Finally i was too tired to stay up so I tried waking her again, nothing. I decided if I left my clothes on and slept outside the covers then it’s all innocent enough.
I woke with her hand down my pants jerking me off, “what the fuck?” i said still sleepy and she pretended nothing had happened and that she was asleep. Fuck this so i went down stairs and tried sleeping on the kitchen floor. Uncomfortable and that was my bed so why should i sleep on the floor. So i tried waking her again and she seemed out for the count so i tied my belt tighter and went asleep, waking to her fiddling with my belt. I kicked her off the bed and she landed in an awkward position on the floor, where i left her. Next morning I woke and still groggy went into the sitting room where my friends declared “Mandy told us about last night”

“She didn’t even finish!” i spluttered before realising they were calling my bluff

Fallen Art – an awesome short film

Just thought I’d share this short film with you guys. A friend of mine showed it to me and I loved it. Watch it!

=Lam=

Adebisi Shank – Lower Deck, Dublin, Ireland

this was an awesome gig whiche i videotaped for your enjoyment

you can check out a bunch of songs by Adebisi Shank on my website or below in the video box

http://www.planetlam.com/music.htm

I have 2 songs by Enemies and a song by Shield Your Eyes, i’ll get around to putting them up tomorrow evening.

=Lam=

Free Shit!

I fucking LOVE free shit! Hell is there anything better than free shit? Fuck you, there is not! Well here is a free album of underground irish bands. Fuck yeah! These guys are so fucking underground I’ve not heard of any of the fuckers. First band Ugly Megan reminds me of The Chalets on crack! That’s right I just used the “… on crack!” cliché. Fuck you.

Peek! An earful of Irish Underground

Click the image to download the album.